fallin' fallen angels
by Vanus Empty
Summary: Anna dies in various, tasteful ways. It's like therapy, but better. Crack!fic. Anna fans need not apply.
1. ruby&alistair

**Title:** fallin' fallen angels.  
**Series:** "Supernatural"  
**Disclaimer:** Eric Kripke owns, yessir.  
**Warnings:** Season 4/5 spoilers. Character death, character bashing, language, violence. Crack fic.  
**Character(s)/Pairing(s):** Anna, various.  
**Rating:** PG-13/T.  
**Other:** This... started out as an idea my friend and I had while talking on trillian a few days ago. Neither of us really like Anna, so I wrote this "how to tastefully kill Anna in 66 ways" sort of drabble series. She was supposed to collaborate with me, but I guess she got distracted. Or I kinda got carried away. But it's a gift!fic now, so. HI, BB. I'll be writing more for you! (Sorry, Anna fans, this is not a fic for you. You have been warned, so save the hate mail for someone who cares. IE: Not me.)

-

"But we were so close... in Hell," the demon says, grinning wickedly down at him and she can see Dean freeze in horror. That fucking whore Lilith _would _have had Alistair be the one to hunt the angel-hearing bitch. Great, just great. And, damn it, she needed that stupid blond Winchester alive or Sam would go off the deep end (and not the one she wanted.)

As Alistair continues to pound on Dean like a fucking bongo drum (and damn, she can't even appreciate it), Ruby moves towards the closet (and she could really crack so many jokes about that, but whatever) and opens it. The girl starts screaming instantly, terror in her eyes as Ruby deliberately lets the black of hers show. With a growl, she grabs the skinny tramp by the arm and yanks her out of the closet.

"Hey, Alistair!" Ruby calls. The older demon halts mid swing, Dean hanging limply in his grasp. She grins at him, winks and pushes Anna towards him. "Catch!"

Alistair grins back, dropping Dean to the ground and catching her. As the girl trembles in his hold, he strokes the side of her face with the back of his hand. Behind him, Sam grabs Dean, hauls him up and out the window the morons go, Ruby smoothly exiting out the door. Christ on the cross, why couldn't they have done the same thing? Always needlessly grandiose.

As she leaves, she hears Alistair gently say, "Well, let's get started, shall we?" She grins widely - she always did like Alistair.

-

Love me, love my crackfic.


	2. lucifer

**Title:** fallin' fallen angels.  
**Series:** "Supernatural"  
**Disclaimer:** Eric Kripke owns, yessir.  
**Warnings:** Season 4/5 spoilers. Character death, character bashing, language, violence. Crack fic.  
**Character(s)/Pairing(s):** Anna, various.  
**Rating:** PG-13/T.  
**Other:** Yep.

-

"Anael," the Morningstar drawls lazily as he prowls around the burning circle. He's casual, assured and she is nearly falling to her knees beneath the pressure of his power. Fuck, she thinks dizzily, knees locked to keep up right. It had been _so long_ and she had foolishly believed his power would have diminished inside of Michael's prison.

"Anael," he repeats, smiling - more teeth than lips, "you're looking... feminine."

"Lucifer," she returns, breathlessly, voice trembling in a way that showed her fear. "You're looking... rotten."

Lucifer shrugs his stolen shoulders. "Can't win them all, but I intend to win the important ones. Speaking of." He pauses and approaches the burning ring, face illuminated by the light of the flames. "You tried to kill Sam Winchester." He clicks his tongue and for a moment, she's reminded of when she was a child - human and guilty when her "father" frowned at her when she broke a statue in the church. "What in the world were you thinking?"

Anna had no idea what she had been thinking, in retrospect. All she remembers is throwing the knife at Sam's throat, little Castiel grabbing it out of the air before it could sink into him, and Dean's cold eyes as he quietly told her to get out of his sight. She shivers in memory - the fear of God's wrath did not match the terror she felt in that moment. In that instant, she understood why Dean had been Alistair's favorite in Hell.

It may have been a good thing Lucifer was the one to get his hands on her, not Dean.

Then again, she thinks when Lucifer absently lifts something from the table behind him, her Grace freezing in her soul, maybe it wasn't such a good thing. After all, Lucifer was the one who had taught Alistair everything he knew and the son-of-a-bitch knew a lot.

-

And that's all I got so far. brb! I have a lot of aggression to work out and this is therapy for me!


End file.
